Biglips: Lita! ItÆs me again, Lita. ItÆs Jesus. I TOLD you to stop playing with yourself!\c0442\c00 Now get out of that 8th sea you call a bath and listen to what I tell you very carefully. And cover yourself up, for My sake! ThereÆs a towel behind that big phallic symbol. Put it on. Now listen. Tomorrow you will buy four tons of Jiffy-Pop and put it in your living room. Then stand there with your arms stretched wide.
Lita: Okay, but what will I do with all that popcorn?
Biglips: Wait for a sign!
Lita: He works in strange and wondrous ways.
Biglips: Lita! IÆm mooning you!
Music: "Blasphemous Rumours" by Depeche Mode
Lita: LetÆs see what the Omniscan sattelite picked up earlier today, shall we? Hmm.
Caption: "Speedracer [sic] was here"
Lita: Not much here, nothing but an empty street. Somebody must have recalibrated the tracking system. But oh wow, the colours! LetÆs see, rotate 90. Aha, pan up! Biglips?
Biglips: Heh heh. I think IÆll try that Jesus joke again! After all, if Lita Caesar\c0443\c00 was gullible enough to fall for it, then those fruit nÆ fibre featherheads of NIMH will never suspect a thing. This is just like my old frat days at Pacific Tech.\c0444\c00 All of you! ItÆs me, itÆs Jesus!
Girls: Oh wow, itÆs really Jesus, etc.
Biglips: I have a message for you! Stop playing with yourselves!
Lita: Hmm.
Girl1: I willlllllllllllll!\c0445\c00
Girl2: Me too!
Girl3: It really IS God!
Lita: That monster-mouth miscreant! IÆll kill him for this blasphemous outrage, or even worse, IÆll keep him from his McNuggets.
Music: "Blasphemous Rumours" by Depeche Mode
Maki: Huh, Lita? What are you standing there for? YouÆll miss the meeting.
Lita: The meeting can wait. I have something more important to discuss with you right now.
Maki: What could be so important, Lita? Narrow your eyes and tell me about it.
Lita: First let me tell you that IÆm not who you think I am. In fact, IÆm not even WHAT you think I am.
Maki: You donÆt say?\c0446\c00 Then what are you?
Lita: I think you can figure that out by yourself. Go ahead and guess what I am, Maki.
Maki: Oh, a guessing game? Okay, let me think a minute. Um, if youÆre not Lita Caesar... [cue "Jeopardy" theme] Then you are, um uh oh... let me think...jesus...uhm um...
Vina: Maki?
Maki: ...hmm um... Well, um, um... YouÆre an ALIEN?!
Vina: Like on Acheron?\c0447\c00
Maki: Well, not quite like that, but more humanoid like the Fast Food Freedom Fighters that weÆve been juggernauting on the road.
Lita: Yes, IÆm one of them, and IÆve come to join NIMH!
Maki: Gee, I never had a clue. What an active imagination. SheÆs always so quiet, I never knew she wrote fiction.
Vina: Me neither! I feel like dancing!
Maki: Well, nice talking to you, Lita...
Lita: No, wait! IÆm serious! I was planted here as a spy, but Biglips played a mean trick on me!
Maki: But if youÆre a spy, shouldnÆt you keep it a secret from us? I think you need to work out some of the holes in your premise, Lita.
Lita: YouÆre not listening to me! I want to be an Earthling, and learn about baseball. [Big robot suit arrives] Ow! I stepped on a nail. Now listen: I told you I built robots in my spare time, and I had originally planned to use them against you. But now IÆm going to use them to help you bash the Freedom Fighters.
Mech: How will you prove itÆs stronger than Power Drink?
Lita: Arm wrestle her! Go on...
Maki: [Maki trounces robot] Hee hee hee.
Vina: Wow! You ripped its arm right off!
Maki: æTwerenÆt nuthinÆ.
Lita: Uh, left? Right? Oh no! I have a headache THIS big!\c0448\c00
